I Remember

(This is a rap song I wrote. The verses are rapped by a guy. The chorus is sung by a girl) 

  (verse 1)
I remember ….
I remember every start of everyday,
the way you put that smile upon my face,
and baby, its still the same.
Every morning I would awake,
and send you that text message,
to start off your day.
Usually lyrics to a song that would play,
or a simple lovin’ feeling that I felt that day.
Any feeling that came to my heart was true,
the way I was loving you, was something so brand new.
No girl could love me, like the way you do.
Our feelings were something that we couldnt put a stop to.
Its not like we were prepared to what we fell into.
So come on girl,
tell me one last time.
That our love is still alive,
and that you’ll always be mine.

(chorus)
We’ll make this perfect again.
Love like this doesn’t stop at an end.
Always and forever,
we’ll be by each others side.
Just look into my eyes and see our future inside.
When we’re apart,
and I cant see you near.
I can still hear these lingering thoughts in my ear.
As our hands lock,
and tighten with every grip.
As I stare down at this ring,
I remember the promises that we made.
This paramour paradise needs a little aid.
So come now, close to me.
Just say my name ….

(Verse 2)
I remember….
I remember every single thought that I had,
I was thinking of you and me
and no body else in between.
Ya I messed up pretty bad at times.
But forgiveness seemed so far out of your mind.
But I always made you laugh after you’d cried.
See these deep feelings I had for you girl,
will never run dry.
Your the only girl and I felt so free,
My heart made a promise till I die,
I need you baby girl, your the light of my life.
A kiss was never enough,
my soul would dive into you,
with everything that I got.
Your breath around my neck made me feel so alive.
I didn’t tell you, without you, I couldn’t survive.
Your my best friend, and Id give my life for you.
Id step in front of a bullet or two.
Just so you could know that someone out there,
is willing to die for you.
I want you to accomplish your goals and dreams,
and push you to achieve everything else in between.
I want to see your mother happy,
and your father walking you down the aisle.
I want to be the one to lift your veil.
And make your heart just sail.
Come on, baby girl,
Just say you remember.
And we’ll take over this world together.

(chorus)
We’ll make this perfect again.
Love like this doesn’t stop at an end.
Always and forever,
we’ll be by each others side.
Just look into my eyes and see our future inside.
When we’re apart,
and I cant see you near.
I can still hear these lingering thoughts in my ear.
As our hands lock,
and tighten with every grip.
As I stare down at this ring,
I remember the promises that we made.
This paramour paradise needs a little aid.
So come now, close to me.
Just say my name ….

(Verse 3)
I remember…
I remember the day that I left.
There were too many days where I just couldn’t stand.
I’ll regret those days when you didn’t understand.
Where I walked out and broke your heart,
and went against our plans.
Please believe me, baby girl, when I say this,
I never meant to hurt you and for it to blow up like this.
You see, the way I acted could be explained.
Some fairy tale reason I would set out to blame.
How I was scared of love and everything else,
but I know that those aren’t always the reasons I talked about.
The answer isn’t always clear to me now,
and I don’t know the reasons why I’m scared to find out.
But I know I can’t live in this world,
without you by my side.
Girl your the answer to my prayers and the one I’m always dreaming of.
I’m on the outside, just smiling,
but inside I’m torn up and still crying.
I know no other man could treat you good,
could love you like the way you should.
But come here, baby, close to me.
Listen to my voice and everything in its plead.

(chorus)
We’ll make this perfect again.
Love like this doesn’t stop at an end.
Always and forever,
we’ll be by each others side.
Just look into my eyes and see our future inside.
When we’re apart,
and I cant see you near.
I can still hear these lingering thoughts in my ear.
As our hands lock,
and tighten with every grip.
As I stare down at this ring,
I remember the promises that we made.
This paramour paradise needs a little aid.
So come now, close to me.
Just say my name ….

[talking....guy voice]

I’m all alone without you baby…I know times are hard, and the world seems over.
But souls like ours are meant to be together.
If we aren’t this…than we might as well be dead.
I love you

My Writer’s Block

 

I write to control thoughts that I wanna talk about.
To harness what I couldn’t say out loud.

Its easy for me to write.
About how I’m feeling each and every night.

Words may not come naturally to me.
But sentences just flow and come to me.

I’d write about anything that came to my mind.
Usually past experiences I’d have to rewind.

Everything I do seems to be intense.
So I usually write about things that have suspense.

Love, hatred, tears and pain.
Are the feelings I cant contain.

Plus I get a feeling of release.
When I write about a heartbreaking piece.

I have many notebooks that I write in.
Their like pieces of my heart that I confine in.

I even started writing lyrics to songs.
Ones that I would make up on the spot.

I really love writing and expressing myself.
And I can always go back and remember ones self.

My state of mind.
Or my destructive binds.

My lovers of the past.
Or hopes for a future with love that will last.

But whats more painful then writing about a heartbreak?
Is being able to not even write and think.

Writer’s block, as people would say.
A blank paper would be left every day.

And its not about having nothing to say.
Its about not being able to write it away.

Having too many thoughts coming out.
Not knowing which one to write about.

Feeling 10 different emotions at one time.
Writing down jumbled words that don’t rhyme.

As a writer its the worst time ever.
We hang our heads in shame and in failure.

Its like a ship not being able to sail.
A dead end road with no continuing trail.

A bird that cannot fly.
Watching a lover walk by.

Watching tv with no cable.
Leaning on something thats not stable.

Its so annoying and we get so down on ourselves.
Like we take all the blame for ones self.

Because this is what I love to do.
Is write about facts or fiction or myself too.

And when I cant get words out.
It feels like my world is crashing down.

Like something is missing.
A part of me diminishing.

Maybe its something I once had.
Because words used to flow out on that pad.

I used to be proud of the pieces I made.
And now all I have is myself to blame.

Maybe that something will never come back?
And force my writing dead in its tracks.

I don’t think I could live without writing.
Its an art form of expression that is exciting.

But what is gone may never return.
And this leaves me with deep concern.

So what is one to do?
Find other inspiration so true?

Or sit back and wait for it to find you….

I will Repent from this…You’re my Flesh and Blood

 

They are two of a kind,
kindred hearts intertwined.
So much love to give,
but the inability to commit.

Two different souls,
but one at the same time.
Two different lives,
but with the same drive.

Creatively passive,
artistically unique.
To the outsiders of the world,
this was the perfect couple to meet.

They fit perfectly together,
when their hands locked.
Like their hands were made for each other,
for no one else to cross.

When they held each other,
everything disappeared.
Nothing else mattered,
to their eyes,
it was all so clear.

When they kissed,
it was….perfect.
Bodies would shake,
than the best love they’d make.

When they talked,
for hours on end,
4 or more,
would bypass them.

When they took that paper and pen,
and wrote about each other over and over again.
Beautiful work would be expressed,
enough to fill a book from front to end.

Fantasies became reality,
dreams came true.
Dirty thoughts surfaced,
for these two.

They knew this was perfect,
to find a soul mate love.
A rare thing to find,
so they kept it hidden in time.

Sure they would fight,
jealously was in sight.
But in true soul mate fashion,
it was the same reactions.

After a bitter war with words,
sickening feelings hit their stomachs,
and made them want to vomit.
They couldnt stand knowing,
that the other one was not glowing.
That maybe their words hurt the other,
so apologizes would quickly come,
after the battle was done.

But if one was in the wrong,
and an apology would fail,
a card was played,
to get out for free from jail.

But true soul mate love,
like theirs,
went deeper than imagined.
It takes you on edges,
without borders to be dependent.

You feel things,
like you’ve never experienced before.
You over think things,
and sure don’t sleep anymore.

But the best part, for me,
was knowing.
Just simply knowing,
how the other one felt at all times.

Through,
pain, hurt, tears, sadness,
I felt it all,
when she would feel it,
I could tell when something was wrong.

Through,
smiles, joy, laughter and bliss,
I could tell,
when she would feel it,
and wouldnt have to say nothing at all.

And it even gets deeper than this…

The smells,
we loved them all.
Everything on our bodies,
would drive us crazy as hell.

The hair,
the perfume,
the cologne,
and skin.
The smell was so desirable,
to each other’s scents.

The smell alone,
would turn us on.
The fresh scent after the shower,
or the rough after sex sweat,
would still devour.

But with all good,
evil isn’t far behind.
I wish we could have been strong enough,
to withhold the stance of time.

Sometimes when love is this powerful,
and all your emotions are at its peak,
its hard to keep focus,
and not let yourself become weak.

Even thou,
complete trust was there.
Words saturated around,
created some despair.

Little battles would become bigger,
and the power of love,
started to be used as the trigger.

We could have killed each other,
in one way or another.
But physical abuse never factored,
because we loved each other.

But when we did hurt….
We hurt a lot.
Like we did die,
in some way, shape, or form.

No one in the world could hurt us,
but one another.
We were best friends,
and each others bitter ends.

Thats what I miss the most.
Smiling for no other reason.
Laughing with no joke.
Lovingly starring,
whenever she spoke.

Talking about her for hours,
to friends that would listen.
Going around people,
with a big smile glisten.

When we were apart,
knowing something so true,
that someone out there,
was thinking about me too.

That feeling of completeness,
when two halves are put together.
When the world suddenly stops,
because nothing else matters.

Because when we hug,
somewhere on our bodies a symbol is transformed,
its in a shape of a heart,
and it is what we form.

These feelings will never erase.
And no one else is worth the chase.
So from the moment I saw myself,
in your eyes,
was the moment I knew,
I’d love you for the rest of my life.

 

A Life So Changed

It kills me when I hurt you,
more than you know.
It makes my stomach turn,
and than the water works begin to fall.

The mistakes of the past,
cast shadows upon the wall.
And I remember my words,
as my tears began to fall.

The shattering of a heart,
two to be exact,
one leaving through a door,
and the other being left.

And now I’m breaking down.
Wishing it will all go away.
Yet I’m hating myself,
for not letting you stay.

You arrived in my heart,
and I wasn’t prepared,
for the long distant future,
you were planning to care.

Yet it wasn’t over,
for me or for you,
but letting you go,
was my decision,
and you had no clue.

A contradiction of the heart,
has torn us apart,
but I never even imagined,
things would be this hard.

Saying goodbye was supposed to be so easy,
but I guess you’re better off now that you hate me.

It was never my place to try and save you,
It was never me that should have tried to tame you.

I was the one who would always hurt you,
and so many times I chose to desert you.

But now that I’m free from your life,
you can live again.
You don’t have to worry about hiding,
because we will not be colliding again.

I’ll always love you, that will never change.
But you’ll heal now, now that I’m far away.

I miss you so much,
our talks and our fun.
But I am not good enough to stay,
because I can’t make a choice to not run away.

Pretty shitty reality,
if you ask me.
Someone with a great heart,
yet not so smart.

I hope that someday you will understand my love,
that I’m doing what’s best for the both of us.

If I can’t even trust me,
than I can’t give a guarantee.
That when tomorrow does come,
what my thoughts might become.

I shape my life,
and alter my fate.
I fucked up my mind,
to a deteriorating state.

I know this about me,
yet I can’t seem to stop.
This unhappiness I put myself through,
you’d think, I’d get used too.

But on this crazy ride,
sometimes I do something right.
I fall in love with someone like you,
and the feeling becomes so true.

But this crazy ride,
like I once said,
is a roller coaster,
with no end.

You did say you were ready thou.
Alongside for the ride.
To turn and steer,
no matter of the severe frontier.

All aboard the crazy ride of love.
You’ll be in for a treat.
Hidden clues to unveil,
and a treasure so sweet.

There’s only one golden ticket,
and I’ll give you a clue.
I just had to find you first,
and remind you, you’ve always had it.

Mona Lisa’s Smile

Her smile has its own smile.
It grins ever so slightly towards heaven.
*
Teeth are so perfectly aligned like piano keys.
Her laughter just brightens up my darkest day.
Lips are more red than a rose.
Her tongue dances behind her lips.
Teeth sparkle behind her smile.
*
Her grin holds so many memories and every time she smiles at me,
I know I am a part of those memories, memories that will last forever.
*
Just like the portrait of her smile,
Mona Lisa’s smile goes on for a mile.
*
If I could paint your smile, my brush strokes would tell a tale of such beauty with no end.
If my eyes could talk, and spoke with words of your smile, they’d divinely speak of such pure delicacy and enchantment.
If my hands could portray synchronized movement, enabling them to illuminate what its like to watch a caterpillar metamorphosis into an angelic butterfly,
that’s what I would do to describe how miraculous your smile is to me.
*
Your smile just doesn’t rise,
so do your eyes.
*
The perimeter of your eyes rise every time you smile.
Its a pure beauty watching.
Because not only when you smile at me, so do your eyes.
Its an amazing feeling to feel.
Knowing that I alone, can make several things smile on your face at once.
*
On the darkest day,
At the darkest moment,
In the darkest room,
I can stand corner to corner with you,
and when you smile,
I can find my way back to you.
*
Its a literal ‘hiccup’ that my heart does when you smile.
A sudden rush of air flow is unable to breathe in from my nose and pass along to my heart, in order for me to breathe normally.
*
Its when you smile, that air turns the opposite way, because my heart just ‘hiccuped’ when I looked at you.
*
Your smile is permanently implanted in my heart, mind, and soul.
Your smile, I will forever imagine in my head until i take my last breath of air on this planet.
*
Your smile is the last thing I would want to envision before I pass…

Within Temptation

Sink those nails into me.
Scratch the surface and
wait for me to scream.

Dig all around my hips,
and reach towards my spine.
Press down harder,
and work your magic inside.

From top to bottom,
I wanna bleed.
Leave your mark,
so others can see.

Lick your tongue,
around my jaw bone line.
Use your lips,
to tell me how wet I feel inside.

Taste my skin,
like its your drug of choice.
Let the cravings set in,
and I’ll dose you every time

Scratch and bite,
and bite some more.
Around my neck,
is what I desire for.

Bite down hard,
and tease me baby.
Feel up my thighs,
and keep up with the ride.

Run your fingers,
slowly down my stomach.
Watch me shake,
as we begin this earthquake.

I’ll tremble,
I’ll moan.
I’ll give you a new name,
the longer your down there for.

Watch my toes curl.
Watch my fingers grip.
Watch the bed sheets fold up,
as my legs go wide and split.

This is just the beginning,
to our adventure of sex.
An exploration of temptation,
within our minds are set.

What happens if I told you,
you were the best I’ve ever had.
Would that scare you,
and create expectations now in our bed?
Or would you get an ego,
and over power my body every time we go?

It is just passion and pleasure.
Between you and I.
A feeling that can never compare,
to others,
to what we feel inside.

Its just magical.
A feeling indescribable.
Pleasure that can last for hours,
without even a single touch.

….without a single touch….
…….I dont even need from you,
…to get me off…….
…I can just stare at you,
…….and you’ll watch the cream fall….

 

4 Letter Words

L. O. V. E.
I thought it was never meant for me.
These 4 Letter Words,
were never in my vocabulary.
It was not in me to search,
to find out and pronounce,
these 4 Letter Words,
would never leave my mouth.
Leaving before and never leaving a trace,
with what my mouth couldn’t erase.
These 4 letters I couldn’t say,
until it all changed one day…

H. O. M. E.
Was never where I ran too.
More of a place where I ran from,
its only contents were walls,
and screaming death matches above all.
These 4 Letter Words,
I didn’t feel safe,
not in anyone’s arms,
I figured it was just not my place.
It wasn’t something I wanted to create.
Not hold anything that would fit inside a lock.
Just a place where I would always knock.
I thought it was never for me.
These 4 Letter Words,
were never in my vocabulary.
These 4 letters I couldn’t say,
until it all changed one day…

M. O. V. E.
Is something I always have to explain.
It takes TWO to MOVE,
with ONE decision made,
something I was never able to do,
which was to recreate something old to new.
Taking steps forward,
I never did.
I ran away before,
It ever came to this.
I never moved together,
with one person by my side,
I figured I had to much pride,
to let compromise inside.
I ran and I ran,
until I was gone,
a faded memory,
is what I left drawn.
I thought it was never for me.
These 4 Letter Words,
were never in my vocabulary.
These 4 letters I couldn’t say,
until it all changed one day…

R. I. N. G.
Was never something I wanted to give,
or receive.
It was a materialistic thing,
that I knew meant,
eternity.
To wear something that bounded you forever,
into the ground with chains,
was so diminishing to my character,
I wouldn’t let anyone hold down my reins.
It was never in me to give,
to give a gift so pure,
I never cared enough,
to give something so secure.
A locator device that tracked my every move,
I wasn’t lost nor needed to be found.
I didn’t want anyone to come running,
so why buy something for so much money?
I thought it was never for me.
These 4 Letter Words,
were never in my vocabulary.
These 4 letters I couldn’t say,
until it all changed one day…

K. I. D. S.
Was gifts I wanted so dearly,
I always knew that clearly,
but the ties and binds that came with them,
I figured, it wasn’t worth it in the end.
The LOVE I would have for my kids,
was something I didn’t want to share,
to live with someone else,
and grow old and live in a pair.
Was something I couldn’t envision,
to make that huge decision,
I would just run away,
and I couldn’t do that to my kids and stray.
I thought it was never meant for me.
These 4 Letter Words,
were never in my vocabulary.
These 4 letters I couldn’t say,
until it all changed one day…

Do you see what I mean?
With every 4 Letter Word comes another.
It’s an alphabetical repetition,
and I never wanted to be in that position,
so I vowed to never say or display,
such 4 Letter Words,
that could get me into trouble one day.
They were just never in my vocabulary,
and I was fine with that.
Living my life with walls,
until one day, as I recall,
it all changed….

 

I’ve killed so many trees with the amount of tissues used to wipe away your tears

I broke her heart
more in a single year
than any girl should have to experience

Is love that powerful to forgive?
When is it enough?

I broke her heart
And decided to part
But her love still remained
A feeling I couldn’t contain

To watch a lover’s eyes fill with tears
And pour out like the ocean was my worst fear

To catch every drop with my shirt
I didn’t realize my words could cause such hurt

It was like living a nightmare
One, no one wants to ever bare

With each of my disappointments building up
Why was I the one giving up?

The let downs went up
Like a brick wall
Like the previous one I broke down

And now she’s gone
Far and long

Never to speak
A heart so weak

Forever scared
And unable to bare
Any love
To come along

Her tears are forever stained
On the shirt that brought the pain those days

Unable to wash it all away
There is hell I have to pay

How does one recover?
From a betrayed lover

Is it something that you just can’t let go
No matter how bad of a blow

Chasing me forever for an eternity
Seems like a waste of precious time
Live your life right
And I’ll suffer every night

That’s what you want, isn’t it?
To repay back what has be done
And get justice back one by one

Reciprocation is the best for you
Please give it to me ten folds, won’t you?

Live your life as you will
Make choices no one else will
Choose to see what no one else will
See what others choose not to see

And you’ll find out your destiny
And I’ll sit back thinking, you’ve always got the best of me

1,095

it just isn’t fair
as she tosses and turns
with despair

the feeling that her life
is just fading away
as each day goes by
she cries night and day

the lack of detail
that no one regards
that the one she wants
seems to disregard

each word fades away
every mishap
alters their fate

the love isn’t focused
to a true direction
their missing the point
and becoming disconnected

where one wants
the other gives
but its not enough
for this love to live

where one is left confused
of the path chosen
everything was perfect
until time stood frozen

it all feels too similar
resorting to history repeating itself
but it ain’t like that at all
when it came to this fleeting delph

two synchronized beats
beating as one
shattering glass breaks
and the damage has been done

‘Once more with feeling’
they wanted to sing
is life suppose to be this way
and carried on with dismay

hugging a pillow
as the sun sets
the dead lover
doesn’t move a thread

you can’t change a seed
it will always bloom into a flower
you can’t change a human
for resentment shall follow

1,095
the number pierces my sky
as every minute goes
it flies by

searching for that bright light
is the answer near?
Will life give me more to offer
than what I have feared

its a race for my heart
its a race for my existence
if you don’t wanna play
than your nothing more to me
so walk away
there has got to be someone
who wants me to stay

but words have meanings
actions have consequences
but the greater the impact
the more results can portray

1,095 is how many days I’ve been in love with you

Writing’s not hard….Its getting it down on paper

I think its beautiful
the way someone can just stare
at a pen and paper
and create something so rare

Open their mind and
free their soul
to an enchanted place
where no one else can go

Imagination runs wild
the ink never dries
there’s never any rules
to words that cannot hide

Its amazing how unhindered one feels
when a pen and paper are near
and emotions aren’t yet healed

Such description is illuminated
each word narrated
from the mind
to the heart
to the body
to the soul
divinely synchronized about a tale untold

How the rhythm just flows
as the intensity grows
play on words, row upon row
of a revelation, a story, a show

You read lines over
again and again
trying to fit together
how it started then ends

Sometimes you get so lost in your writing,
reliving the scenes over and again
the happiness that was felt
or the damaged heart left in the end

Captivating the emotions
that you endured,
sometimes the words you write
become a big blur

You cross out every other word,
until its perfect,
the way your heart felt,
to be certain

Getting it out
Getting it down
is your therapeutic release
like somehow it will all be better
once you finish writing this piece

Suddenly its done
and your pen dries
you re-read what you have wrote
but there’s still something missing inside

Like this was suppose to give you untold truths
interventions and some hidden clues

But it helps
getting it composed
whether you realize it or not
not many people can do
what you just wrote