Erica Sosney

See what know one else sees See what others choose not to see

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The Promise

Posted by Erica Lynn Sosney on October 23, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: always and forever, by my side, erica, i will return to you, IOU, its just me and you, lost love, love poem, my heart, poem, poetry, return to me, sad poem, the promise, you are mine, you are my heart. 2 comments

If this is the only way that I can reach you,

than I’ll continue to write…

*************

You always wanted to be by my side,

especially holding my hand as my bride.

*********

No kiss, no gentle word, could wake me from this love slumber.

Until I realized that it wasn’t you who held me under.

*******************

Whether staying in the shadows, where you might always remain.

I do not think about you any less just because of this game.

********************

But I don’t dream like a girl so in love, so in love.

No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.

*************************

Nights are the hardest when you are not there.

Waking up scared and screaming your name in despair.

*****

Because I wake up right where I was before.

Living in your shadows behind closed doors.

******************

Still when my heart races, it races for two.

Double the heart beat and sound is what I live through.

*********

Re-reading everything that I’ve kept from you.

Line over line something you wrote that was so true.

***

But little things is what I cherish most.

Like a little poem you wrote that I hold close…

*

“My breath, taken away by your stare.

My smile grows bigger by your beauty.

Your eyes alone, I get lost in them.

Always trying to find my way home.

My home inside your heart”.

*************************************

One day I will return to you.

Because I.O.U.my heart, too

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Happy Birthday To Me

Posted by Erica Lynn Sosney on September 7, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: abandoned poem, depressing poem, happy birthday poem, hurt poem, lonely poem, love poem, not happy birthday poem, poem, poetry, sad birthday poem, wish you were here, you were not there. 2 comments

its my birthday today
and you didnt even call
not a word from you
i did not hear from you at all

today was the day i was born
and i thought in some way
that was important
but i guess you were torn

maybe you forgot
maybe you didnt care
maybe you didnt know
how i would be left here in despair

its my birthday today
and i wish you were here
i shouldnt of built up hope
cause now thats disappeared

so ill blow out my candles
and eat cake
and put on a smile
that has become so fake

i guess thats it
we’re completely done
because on your birthday
at least i wished you a good one

so ill rethink my wish
when i blow out that final flame
as i take a deep breath
you will not come to name

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy first day without you to me

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Another Unanswered Void

Posted by Erica Lynn Sosney on September 5, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: hurt you, i am scared, love, love hurt, love poetry, one night stand, pain in love, poem, sick of love, unanswered void, void, you hurt me. 3 comments

Could you ever really know me?
And I mean, all of me?
If I gave you that power,
would you use it against me?

Being scared of being judged.
And throwing away the key.
Living a life where your always not trusting me.

You’re going to hate me when I tell you everything.
You’re going to question whether you really know me at all.
By letting you in,
I’m subjecting myself to a fall.

You will revisit every smile.
And where it fit into the day.
Try to pick out all the great things,
I said in someway.

I know this is how it will play.
And I try to think of all the things,
that I could do,
to let you know that I love you too.

I was not looking to do you wrong.
Was not looking for a change of scenery.
What I fell into that day,
change me forever, so what more can I say?

Don’t remember where, or when, or how I did.
But I’m hoping you’ll forgive me.
My heart was so hurt,
that I needed something, like a cure.

A million bodies in my mind,
one night stands, I did all the time.
Filling a void,
but searching for an answer.
That I just couldn’t find.

I’ve got the scars to prove it.
And many links in this world.
They all think they know me,
because I let them see it.

But if I told you all this,
it would be a shame.
Than you have ammo against me,
and you could play my game.

So I’ll let you be just another someone in my past.
Another tie that I have in this world.
Because just like the rest,
they met,
they stayed,
they seized,
they conquered,
and I left.

I’d rather be alone, than have you hurt me.
Because…
I hurt them all.

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Born with love. Ends alone.

Posted by Erica Lynn Sosney on June 22, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: born with love ends alone, cant take it anymore, cliff jumping, depression, dying for love, dying of broken heart, girl is alone, jumping off cliff, love hurts, love poem, love suicide, poem, poetry, sosney. Leave a Comment

It cuts like a knife,
or well it should.
It definitely feels like someone is cutting into you.
Mutilated corpses all around.
I might as well join them,
if this love cannot be found.
Whether seeing is believing,
and I’m crying behind this smile.
No one will really know anyway,
until one day I’m just gone.
Maybe compassion isn’t in this world,
and I’m always bound to lose someone.
Or something.
Another one gone,
and I feel nothing.
Not even a speck of hope,
could make me move from the edge of this cliff.
Maybe its better down there?
As I look deep down in the bottomless pit.
Seems so peaceful.
So quiet.
No one to bother you.
No noise to hear.
Sure, it might hurt.
But only for a second.
Beats living this life with all these voices.
Voices that just won’t quit.
We come into this world with love,
maybe we should leave this world alone?
Cause I’d rather be dead,
than living with you.
Hearing your name.
Over and over again.
Dreaming the dreams.
Over and over again.
Self mutilation is destroying my self being.
How am I suppose to live with you?
Always in my ear.
Maybe if I smash my ear against this rock, you’ll go away.
Maybe if I take this power drill, you’ll disappear.
Maybe if I cut out my heart, and give it to you, than there!
You’ll have it.
Cause I won’t need it.
So once you have it, than I’ll be ok.
But you are my bleeding cut.
So maybe I need a heart.
I care about other things too. …
So maybe if I drain my blood.
So it doesn’t beat my heart for you anymore.
Cause with no blood, it can’t ache for you.
Maybe if I take this hammer.
I could knock you out.
But, deep down, I know I’ll miss you if your gone.
I could smash my own face.
Than I’ll be ugly.
So than maybe you won’t look my way anymore.
Or I could throw in the lake, this box of you.
So than I can’t look threw it everyday.
So I don’t remember all the great times together.
Maybe my thoughts will sink along side with it.
This is all your fault, you know?
Why everyone left me.
Why its so f*cking hard now.
Why it hurts to f*cking live.
It hurts to breathe.
It hurts to cry another tear.
You should see my heart now.
Bet it looks like an upside down horse shoe.
But all mangled and torn.
okay,
these voices won’t go away,..
they are getting louder.
You are getting louder.
SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Okay, it will only hurt for a second…
I gotta do this.
Deep breath.
Because if this is life without you, it really……………..

 

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I Remember

Posted by Erica Lynn Sosney on May 22, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: always and forever, back and forth rap, by my side, forever love rap, i love you, im sorry i hurt you, love rap, paramour, poem, poetry, rap poem, rap song, rapping about love, sosney, your my everything. 5 comments

(This is a rap song I wrote. The verses are rapped by a guy. The chorus is sung by a girl) 

  (verse 1)
I remember ….
I remember every start of everyday,
the way you put that smile upon my face,
and baby, its still the same.
Every morning I would awake,
and send you that text message,
to start off your day.
Usually lyrics to a song that would play,
or a simple lovin’ feeling that I felt that day.
Any feeling that came to my heart was true,
the way I was loving you, was something so brand new.
No girl could love me, like the way you do.
Our feelings were something that we couldnt put a stop to.
Its not like we were prepared to what we fell into.
So come on girl,
tell me one last time.
That our love is still alive,
and that you’ll always be mine.

(chorus)
We’ll make this perfect again.
Love like this doesn’t stop at an end.
Always and forever,
we’ll be by each others side.
Just look into my eyes and see our future inside.
When we’re apart,
and I cant see you near.
I can still hear these lingering thoughts in my ear.
As our hands lock,
and tighten with every grip.
As I stare down at this ring,
I remember the promises that we made.
This paramour paradise needs a little aid.
So come now, close to me.
Just say my name ….

(Verse 2)
I remember….
I remember every single thought that I had,
I was thinking of you and me
and no body else in between.
Ya I messed up pretty bad at times.
But forgiveness seemed so far out of your mind.
But I always made you laugh after you’d cried.
See these deep feelings I had for you girl,
will never run dry.
Your the only girl and I felt so free,
My heart made a promise till I die,
I need you baby girl, your the light of my life.
A kiss was never enough,
my soul would dive into you,
with everything that I got.
Your breath around my neck made me feel so alive.
I didn’t tell you, without you, I couldn’t survive.
Your my best friend, and Id give my life for you.
Id step in front of a bullet or two.
Just so you could know that someone out there,
is willing to die for you.
I want you to accomplish your goals and dreams,
and push you to achieve everything else in between.
I want to see your mother happy,
and your father walking you down the aisle.
I want to be the one to lift your veil.
And make your heart just sail.
Come on, baby girl,
Just say you remember.
And we’ll take over this world together.

(chorus)
We’ll make this perfect again.
Love like this doesn’t stop at an end.
Always and forever,
we’ll be by each others side.
Just look into my eyes and see our future inside.
When we’re apart,
and I cant see you near.
I can still hear these lingering thoughts in my ear.
As our hands lock,
and tighten with every grip.
As I stare down at this ring,
I remember the promises that we made.
This paramour paradise needs a little aid.
So come now, close to me.
Just say my name ….

(Verse 3)
I remember…
I remember the day that I left.
There were too many days where I just couldn’t stand.
I’ll regret those days when you didn’t understand.
Where I walked out and broke your heart,
and went against our plans.
Please believe me, baby girl, when I say this,
I never meant to hurt you and for it to blow up like this.
You see, the way I acted could be explained.
Some fairy tale reason I would set out to blame.
How I was scared of love and everything else,
but I know that those aren’t always the reasons I talked about.
The answer isn’t always clear to me now,
and I don’t know the reasons why I’m scared to find out.
But I know I can’t live in this world,
without you by my side.
Girl your the answer to my prayers and the one I’m always dreaming of.
I’m on the outside, just smiling,
but inside I’m torn up and still crying.
I know no other man could treat you good,
could love you like the way you should.
But come here, baby, close to me.
Listen to my voice and everything in its plead.

(chorus)
We’ll make this perfect again.
Love like this doesn’t stop at an end.
Always and forever,
we’ll be by each others side.
Just look into my eyes and see our future inside.
When we’re apart,
and I cant see you near.
I can still hear these lingering thoughts in my ear.
As our hands lock,
and tighten with every grip.
As I stare down at this ring,
I remember the promises that we made.
This paramour paradise needs a little aid.
So come now, close to me.
Just say my name ….

[talking....guy voice]


I’m all alone without you baby…I know times are hard, and the world seems over.
But souls like ours are meant to be together.
If we aren’t this…than we might as well be dead.
I love you

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My Writer’s Block

Posted by Erica Lynn Sosney on April 21, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: blank paper, cant write, erica sosney, i love to write, lonely pen, poem, poetry, too many thoughts, words dont come out, writer's block. 7 comments

 

I write to control thoughts that I wanna talk about.
To harness what I couldn’t say out loud.

Its easy for me to write.
About how I’m feeling each and every night.

Words may not come naturally to me.
But sentences just flow and come to me.

I’d write about anything that came to my mind.
Usually past experiences I’d have to rewind.

Everything I do seems to be intense.
So I usually write about things that have suspense.

Love, hatred, tears and pain.
Are the feelings I cant contain.

Plus I get a feeling of release.
When I write about a heartbreaking piece.

I have many notebooks that I write in.
Their like pieces of my heart that I confine in.

I even started writing lyrics to songs.
Ones that I would make up on the spot.

I really love writing and expressing myself.
And I can always go back and remember ones self.

My state of mind.
Or my destructive binds.

My lovers of the past.
Or hopes for a future with love that will last.

But whats more painful then writing about a heartbreak?
Is being able to not even write and think.

Writer’s block, as people would say.
A blank paper would be left every day.

And its not about having nothing to say.
Its about not being able to write it away.

Having too many thoughts coming out.
Not knowing which one to write about.

Feeling 10 different emotions at one time.
Writing down jumbled words that don’t rhyme.

As a writer its the worst time ever.
We hang our heads in shame and in failure.

Its like a ship not being able to sail.
A dead end road with no continuing trail.

A bird that cannot fly.
Watching a lover walk by.

Watching tv with no cable.
Leaning on something thats not stable.

Its so annoying and we get so down on ourselves.
Like we take all the blame for ones self.

Because this is what I love to do.
Is write about facts or fiction or myself too.

And when I cant get words out.
It feels like my world is crashing down.

Like something is missing.
A part of me diminishing.

Maybe its something I once had.
Because words used to flow out on that pad.

I used to be proud of the pieces I made.
And now all I have is myself to blame.

Maybe that something will never come back?
And force my writing dead in its tracks.

I don’t think I could live without writing.
Its an art form of expression that is exciting.

But what is gone may never return.
And this leaves me with deep concern.

So what is one to do?
Find other inspiration so true?

Or sit back and wait for it to find you….

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I will Repent from this…You’re my Flesh and Blood

Posted by Erica Lynn Sosney on April 8, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: best thing in my life, bounded, eternity, forever yours, i devour you, i love you, it hurts to love you, love, love and death, love hurts, love poem, love you forever, my blood, poetry, repent from you, rest of my life, soulmate, unable to commit, you are everything. 10 comments

 

They are two of a kind,
kindred hearts intertwined.
So much love to give,
but the inability to commit.

Two different souls,
but one at the same time.
Two different lives,
but with the same drive.

Creatively passive,
artistically unique.
To the outsiders of the world,
this was the perfect couple to meet.

They fit perfectly together,
when their hands locked.
Like their hands were made for each other,
for no one else to cross.

When they held each other,
everything disappeared.
Nothing else mattered,
to their eyes,
it was all so clear.

When they kissed,
it was….perfect.
Bodies would shake,
than the best love they’d make.

When they talked,
for hours on end,
4 or more,
would bypass them.

When they took that paper and pen,
and wrote about each other over and over again.
Beautiful work would be expressed,
enough to fill a book from front to end.

Fantasies became reality,
dreams came true.
Dirty thoughts surfaced,
for these two.

They knew this was perfect,
to find a soul mate love.
A rare thing to find,
so they kept it hidden in time.

Sure they would fight,
jealously was in sight.
But in true soul mate fashion,
it was the same reactions.

After a bitter war with words,
sickening feelings hit their stomachs,
and made them want to vomit.
They couldnt stand knowing,
that the other one was not glowing.
That maybe their words hurt the other,
so apologizes would quickly come,
after the battle was done.

But if one was in the wrong,
and an apology would fail,
a card was played,
to get out for free from jail.

But true soul mate love,
like theirs,
went deeper than imagined.
It takes you on edges,
without borders to be dependent.

You feel things,
like you’ve never experienced before.
You over think things,
and sure don’t sleep anymore.

But the best part, for me,
was knowing.
Just simply knowing,
how the other one felt at all times.

Through,
pain, hurt, tears, sadness,
I felt it all,
when she would feel it,
I could tell when something was wrong.

Through,
smiles, joy, laughter and bliss,
I could tell,
when she would feel it,
and wouldnt have to say nothing at all.

And it even gets deeper than this…

The smells,
we loved them all.
Everything on our bodies,
would drive us crazy as hell.

The hair,
the perfume,
the cologne,
and skin.
The smell was so desirable,
to each other’s scents.

The smell alone,
would turn us on.
The fresh scent after the shower,
or the rough after sex sweat,
would still devour.

But with all good,
evil isn’t far behind.
I wish we could have been strong enough,
to withhold the stance of time.

Sometimes when love is this powerful,
and all your emotions are at its peak,
its hard to keep focus,
and not let yourself become weak.

Even thou,
complete trust was there.
Words saturated around,
created some despair.

Little battles would become bigger,
and the power of love,
started to be used as the trigger.

We could have killed each other,
in one way or another.
But physical abuse never factored,
because we loved each other.

But when we did hurt….
We hurt a lot.
Like we did die,
in some way, shape, or form.

No one in the world could hurt us,
but one another.
We were best friends,
and each others bitter ends.

Thats what I miss the most.
Smiling for no other reason.
Laughing with no joke.
Lovingly starring,
whenever she spoke.

Talking about her for hours,
to friends that would listen.
Going around people,
with a big smile glisten.

When we were apart,
knowing something so true,
that someone out there,
was thinking about me too.

That feeling of completeness,
when two halves are put together.
When the world suddenly stops,
because nothing else matters.

Because when we hug,
somewhere on our bodies a symbol is transformed,
its in a shape of a heart,
and it is what we form.

These feelings will never erase.
And no one else is worth the chase.
So from the moment I saw myself,
in your eyes,
was the moment I knew,
I’d love you for the rest of my life.

 

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    • The Promise
    • Happy Birthday To Me
    • Another Unanswered Void
    • Born with love. Ends alone.
    • I Remember
    • My Writer’s Block
    • I will Repent from this…You’re my Flesh and Blood
    • A Life So Changed
    • Mona Lisa’s Smile
    • Within Temptation
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